I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
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it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize