The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
