Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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