tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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