Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
jump out the window naked night went bad
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
