On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize