wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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