Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
