why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
