Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
