The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
