Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
