The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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