dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
