Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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