Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My life is pants optional.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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