he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
false alarm. still invincible.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
