I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You left your phone here
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