Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
