Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
