Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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