Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
