69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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