I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
