Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
