i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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