I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
