Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
