i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
