Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
