i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
