Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
