I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
