So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
