Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize