home. puking in laundry basket.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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