O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
