i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize