You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
