just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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