i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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