never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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