Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
