We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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