What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
