It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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