WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
