There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i now understand why vodka
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
