There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
