Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
