Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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