How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We had sex on a dog bed..
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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