I faked an abortion last night.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
