Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
