I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
