He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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