i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize