i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
