she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
