i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
