Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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