i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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