My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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