I CAN MOONWALK!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
