Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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